Lady Gaga's Brother May Convert to Islam

OCTOBER 19, 2012 GOTHAM CITY, NY - Joey Germanotta is not as famous as his older sister Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, who is also known as "Lady Gaga". This could change in light of Joey's recent press conference in the Gotham City Public Library. In a meeting room packed with 29 tweeters, 14 bloggers and one journalist, Joey announced that he was considering a conversion to Islam. While most of his audience stared at him with obvious shock and incredulity, the first tweets regarding the announcement were already being transmitted to the outside world, together with the new Twitter hashtags #joeymuslim and #ladygagabrotherislam.

Lady Gaga in Japan
via Wikimedia / Giorgio Zeniquel 

One blogger immediately asked: "What is it that attracted you to the Muslim faith? Have you met Muslims and read books about Islam?" Joey responded by saying, "I do not really know any Muslims and haven't read any books, but I kind of know that Muslim men get to boss around women and blow up stuff, which sounds pretty cool!"

When Joey was asked whether his decision had anything to do with Lady Gaga, he screamed, "This is my press conference and this has nothing to do with Stef! I hated growing up as her little brother, because she always wanted to be the center of the attention. She got to be in all the high school musicals and wear those great costumes. I also wanted to be in the musicals but nobody cared about me. It used to be all about Stef, Stef, Stef! But this will change now, and my decisions have nothing to do with her." In closing, Joey said that he had not decided if and when he would eventually become Muslim, but he would hold another press conference once he had made up his mind. He also encouraged everybody to follow him on Twitter @joeykingoftheworld.

In a rare display of harmony, two rival Muslim organizations COCA (Central Organization of Compassion in America) and COLA (Central Organization of Light in America) issued a joint statement following Joey's press conference:

 "We hope that Joey will soon join the Muslim faith and we see this as a reward for the great work that our organizations have done during the past years. We realize that becoming part of our faith is enough of an incentive, but Joey and other people should know that new celebrity converts receive a free iPad 2, preloaded with Muslim apps such as iHumility. We would also like to use this opportunity to remind Muslims that they need to increase their donations to our organizations in order to support our tireless efforts." 

Joey's announcement also elicited very critical comments. An organization of conservative American fathers called "Don't Ask, Don't Sin" (DADS) issued the following statement: 

"It is the culture of feminism, Marxism, fascism, homosexuality and Darwinism that is propagated by our liberal elites which makes victims like Joey convert to Islam. If Joey were able to assert his manhood in our own culture, we would not lose him to Shariah-wielding Islamists."

An earlier version of this article was originally published in the Huffington Post